I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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