Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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