Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
