i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize