At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
