That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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