you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
please don't ironically join a cult
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