In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I have demons in me.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
