what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
we should paint friendship bongs
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