You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
