She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
