haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
