i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
