Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
