I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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