I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
