The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize
