So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize