I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
