i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
