we have officially mastered the walk of shame
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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