Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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