dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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