it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
It's no shave November. This is our time.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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