Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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