don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
