wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
a search helicopter?!
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
