After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
