We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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