no, he came in my armpit
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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