Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
