I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
