Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize