I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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