You're so nebulous sometimes
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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