awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
