Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
