I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm just crazy horny about you
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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