I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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