I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
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