Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize