Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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