So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
