I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
