I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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