let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
