If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
