i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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