I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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