honey bunches of taint.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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