I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
