therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
