all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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