You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
