i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
