We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I have post one night stand depression
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
