No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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