I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
