I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
