my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
