Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Of course I have a pirate flag
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
